Health Library Explorer
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z A-Z Listings Contact Us
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Click a letter to see a list of conditions beginning with that letter.
Click 'Topic Index' to return to the index for the current topic.
Click 'Library Index' to return to the listing of all topics.

How to Let Go of Growing Kids

Mother hugging her middle school aged child goodbye going to school.

It's very important for your children to move from being teenagers to young adults in a way that is healthy for them—and for you.

As your children moved through other stages, your relationship, communication, and parenting style changed. As your children mature and become more independent, your relationship with them will continue to change. You may be more of a friend and adviser. The keys to making this a positive change are open communication and being flexible.

The teen years and beyond

The relationship with your children changes even more quickly as they become teens. Teens want to be independent, but deep down they also need to be connected. Parents should try to balance increasing freedom with guidelines and structure. For example, set limits on television, computer, and cell phone time or keep a school-night bedtime. But you can be flexible by making exceptions at times.

When out of high school, your young adult children still need your guidance. This is true whether they are in college or working. And it continues, even when they are graduating from college or moving on in another way. It just needs to be appropriate to the situation.

Children mature at different speeds, so there are no age guidelines for independence. Most parents feel some sadness or loss as their roles change. Keep in mind that children often struggle with the changes, too.

Parenting tips

Here are some tips to help make this change a healthy one:

  • Talk openly and honestly to your children about your feelings. Encourage your children to do the same.

  • Help your children plan their independent future. If you do it together, it will help lessen the stress of separation. For example, you can help your children select college classes or find their apartment. Consider volunteering to help decorate that first apartment, for example.

  • Share your wisdom, but let your children make their own decisions. For example, your children may be excited about moving into an apartment that you think is too expensive. You can help them by reviewing their budget and expenses.

  • Try establishing new or better relationships with your spouse or other loved ones—perhaps by planning more activities together.

  • Talk with other parents who already have been through this stage. Their experiences, both good and bad, and suggestions can help you.

  • If you are having a very difficult time, talk with your healthcare provider. Treatment, such as counseling, may be recommended.

Online Medical Reviewer: Dan Brennan MD
Online Medical Reviewer: Liora C Adler MD
Online Medical Reviewer: Stacey Wojcik MBA BSN RN
Date Last Reviewed: 7/1/2023
© 2000-2024 The StayWell Company, LLC. All rights reserved. This information is not intended as a substitute for professional medical care. Always follow your healthcare professional's instructions.
Powered by StayWell
About StayWell | Disclaimer | Terms of Use

Our web site is designed to provide general information to educate users about programs and services, which may be available through our hospitals. The web site is not intended to provide medical advice nor should the information be used to attempt to determine the presence, absence or severity of any illness or medical condition which may be perceived or experienced by the user of this site. If you have or suspect you may have an illness or condition which you believe requires medical attention, we recommend you call your primary care physician. If you believe you are experiencing a medical emergency please call "911" (or your local medical emergency number) or seek immediate care from the nearest hospital Emergency Department. The provision of information to users of this web site is not intended as an inducement or to otherwise influence a person's decision to order or receive any item or service from a particular provider, practitioner or supplier that is reimbursable under Medicare, a state healthcare program (e.g., AHCCS) or any other healthcare plan.

Physicians are members of the medical staff at each facility, but are independent contractors who are neither employees nor agents of Tenet Florida Coastal Division; and, as a result, Tenet Florida Coastal Division is not responsible for the actions of any of these physicians in their medical practices.