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Grief and Loss: The Process of Healing

Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult events you can experience. Understanding grief and learning how to cope can help you heal and move forward with your life as you honor the person you miss.

Q. What is grief?

A. Grief is what you feel when you lose someone or something dear to you. How long you grieve depends on the closeness of the relationship. Whether the death was sudden or expected, the nature of the bond also affects how long you grieve.

When you grieve, you often have intense and enduring feelings of disbelief, shock, despair, sadness, and guilt that can be hard to deal with. But these feelings are a normal part of the healing process. Experiencing them will allow you to move forward.

Q. What can help me heal from grief and loss?

A. Support from others is one of the most important parts in healing. That support can come from:

  • Close friends.
  • Grief counselors and social workers.
  • Grief support groups.
  • Other family members.
  • Psychotherapists.
  • Your faith community.

Q. What self-care steps or coping skills do I need?

A. It's important to take care of yourself. Try to do the following:

  • Eat a healthy diet. Consider eating with close family or friends if eating is hard.
  • Exercise regularly. To start, even a short walk outside is good.
  • Get enough sleep. Have a regular bedtime and don't use electronic devices the hour before bedtime.
  • Maintain your normal routine as much as possible. You may not be able to do this at first.

Resist the urge to numb the pain with alcohol or drugs. This can delay healing and lead to further problems.

Some people also find creating a meaningful memorial in the person's honor to be helpful. For example, fund a scholarship program or give a gift to a charity or aid fund in the person's name.

Finally, be patient with yourself. There's no standard timetable for grief.

Q. What role does mourning play?

A. Mourning is the public side of grief and varies from culture to culture. Regardless of the ritual, mourning provides an accepted way to recognize the death of a loved one. It also helps you say goodbye in a public ceremony that honors the person. It gives family members ongoing support and sympathy.

Q. When should I seek professional help?

A. While grief is similar to depression, clinical depression is a psychological disorder. Grief is a normal response to loss. But long-term, unresolved grief can lead to depression and other problems.

Contact your doctor right away if you have any of the following:

  • Symptoms of a prolonged grief disorder (PGD). This refers to a person who, 12 months after the loved one's death, has intense longing or preoccupation for the dead person. The grieving person may feel great distress or be unable to perform daily activities at home, work, or other important areas. The grief is disabling. PGD symptoms affect the person's everyday life in a way that typical grieving does not.
  • New or increased use of drugs or alcohol. This can be an attempt to numb and prevent overwhelming feelings of sadness and loss.
  • Trusted friends or family ask you to get help. Listen if people you trust show concern about your ongoing grief-related symptoms and ask you to seek professional support.

NOTE: If you are in a crisis or have thoughts of suicide or self-harm, call or text 988 right away. This is the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You will be connected to a trained counselor you can talk to. There's also an online chat option. You can also call Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255). The 988 Lifeline is free and available 24/7.

Online Medical Reviewer: Dan Brennan MD
Online Medical Reviewer: Heather M Trevino BSN RNC
Online Medical Reviewer: Paul Ballas MD
Date Last Reviewed: 9/1/2025
© 2000-2026 The StayWell Company, LLC. All rights reserved. This information is not intended as a substitute for professional medical care. Always follow your healthcare professional's instructions.
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